Hub 3 stuck in ‘Update in Progress’

Virgin media sent me a new Hub 3 Router today.

I connected it and of course, it does not work.

Someone, somewhere, must press a button and "connect" this new router to my account, to my home address even, maybe. maybe they call it, "pairing" in Virgin Media speak. Anyway.

Of course Virgin know this. They have designed it so.

Reading on these forums, same issue for dozens of hapless customers.

Of course Virgin know this.

With an all but dead router, on we go on the online chat. 20 mins wait. 3 mins for the Indian or whatever assistant working from home another 12 jobs, to reply to simple questions.

Eventually (like 30 mins + 20 mins wait) she says "I have activated your router".

I said "OK, let me try". All this time I have been tethering the PC to my phone.

I switch back to Virgin - no internet, router still stuck on "Update in Progress".

Back to tethering, I say, "It did not work, it is not activated".

The obligatory 3 minutes. She replies "let me book an engineer visit".

Having read the forums, the engineer visit is a multi-day proposition. Maybe another week without internet. If previous experience is anything to go by. They will send the wrong engineer. From the wrong team. With the wrong cable in his van. With the right tools left in the other van. I have experienced all of that and worse. They ended up installing the wrong cable. Knowingly. It was either that or no internet for maybe months. Not easy to get the right van on the job. We make do with whatever van arrives. It is like the Southwest trains at Waterloo. If you see a train leaving the station, jump on it. Don't ask  where it's heading. You will not get another chance to leave Waterloo.

"But surely this is something you can do from there?" I ask hopefully. Maybe she can try again. There is some hope.

The obligatory 3 minutes. 6 minutes. 12 minutes. She has gone AWOL

I go downstairs and plug in the old router. The one which randomly and periodically disconnects and requires a restart.

The old router works. I will take that. Remember the trains at Waterloo during a "signal failure in Pakistan."

Must cancel Virgin. Make a deal with Smarty. It is 5g. I am getting 500mbps at the front of the house. Maybe instead of paying Virgin £40 (had gone to £75 before I negotiated it down for another 2 year contract) I can make a deal with Smarty. Never has it let me down. Unlike Virgin.

How can such incompetence rule the world.