Today I get a reply from the team member who tells me they can't help me as I can't give them information I was never given in the first place!
I have a PAYG phone bought from an old Virgin Megastore with a top-up voucher. I was never given an account number or any paperwork. They insist I do have paperwork (so now they're calling me a liar!). Virgin want me to have a replacement SIM that is unlikely to work, but won't tell me if it has been sent (I haven't received one) because I can't answer security questions that were never set. Virgin CLEARLY has my details as THEY texted ME about this fiasco in the first place; I never asked for any of this crap.
To summarise; no shops open, no customer support from Virgin, this community apparently can't/won't help me (it's the only reason I joined), and the replies I got from 789 were unhelpful and rude.
I'm just glad I don't have an expensive contract with them, and I really sympathise with those that do, as they are by far the worst company I've ever dealt with, by a country mile.
I shall let my current credit expire and will then be an ex-customer, if they don't switch my phone off before then!