Virgin Media Community

[ahrbee]

500 Spams

When you wake up, well you know there’s gonna be,

There’s gonna be some mail that’s fake that’s sent to you

When you see it, yeah from Jane or Emily,

You know you have to flush it down the loo.

When it’s Bitcoins, well you know they wanna see

You squander, like a drunken man may do.

And if you waver, hey you know they wanna be

The ones who’ll savour your lack of fortitude.

But I will clear 500 spams,

And I will clear 500 more,

Just to be the man clears a thousand spams

And kick them out the door.

When I’m working, yes I know they wanna see

A man whose working hard to fund their luxury

And take my money, ’til I don’t know what to do

And there’s nothing left for me and you.

As we grow old, you know we’re gonna find

Them target us through mail and phone and text

So build defences, fight them every way you can,

And prepare for what the b******’s think of next!

Arhbee

With apologies to The Proclaimers

[Natalie_L · Accepted solution]

Hi ahrbee, 

I am lost for words, this is brilliant and has made my day! 

To get a better handle on spam, we would recommend updating/amending your settings here

Thanks 

[ahrbee]

Natalie,

You have made my day! I thought my piece of driftwood had floated off on the tide, never to be seen again.😊

I have actually used a filter first suggested by a forum member in 'My Spam Solution' and now the spam is drying up. 500 Spams first came to mind when I was training for a 10 mile treadmill charity fund-raiser on Friday. I will have to think of another title to play with. Maybe, 'Spammer, Come Back to Me' - but maybe not!

Thanks for your kind words. Much appreciated.

[Zoie_P]

This was fantastic thank you Ahrbee, 

please do carry on making parodies you have a gift for it!

Glad to hear the advice on another post helped 🙂

Zoie

[ahrbee]

Now you are spoiling me! Two thumbs up for 500 Spams (after more kind words in another place  for completing my Treadmill 10 charity challenge). Just one more I made earlier; and then I'll get back in my box.

St. John’s Wood

I once had a Sat Nav
Or should I say, she once had me.
She showed me the way
Wasn't so good, to St. John's Wood.

She asked me to park
And she told me to park anywhere
I was found at the Pound
With a Parking Notice to bear.

Sat Nav just shrugged, biding her time
Having a whine.
We drove until two; and then she said
"It's time for bed"

She told me she worked
In the morning and until two.
I said: We're in Clapham,
So what shall I do?

But she no longer spoke, I was alone
This bird had flown
So, I looked up a map
It was so good, I found St. John's Wood!

With apologies to John Lennon et. al.