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If you cannot dazzle em with diamonds. baffle em with bubble tech

Comming out of the local super market yesterday, I was accosted by a sales rep from a phone/broadband supplier, and with time on my hands I was up for a laugh.

Background is I have to be with Virgin as I cannot get a service from others who would use the aluminium wires from a BT hole in the ground. I don't even get a cabinet.

Do you have broadband --> yes, can you tell me how much you pay->£85/month, is that for phone, broadband and TV -> yes. Well we can do that for £30.

Interesting question. Do you use your phone? -> no, it is not even connected. But the package works out cheaper to have an unused phone line.

So she then asks what speed do you get and I say 200/20Mb and she says are you on Virgin? -> yes

At which point the fun begins as her colleague now joins in with I used to work for Virgin. How many Internet connected devices do you have? -> Approx 10 at any one time.

So the bull poo starts with so that means you will only get 20Mb to each device.-> Err No, the 200Mb is split to the devices actively using the internet at that point in time.

Well our bubble technology means that each device will get 80Mb. Err No. You would provide that to my firewall and everything beyond that gets what the firewall delivers. But I am intrigued by your 80Mb. Do you deliver that on fibre? -> Yes sir. So that is FTTP? No.

So how do you get that fibre to my home? It is to the cabinet and then we us the short length of cable from the cabinet to your house. Can we have your post code-> Yes we can supply, What is your house number. Oh sorry sir. No can do.

But, how many that he could supply would have walked away thinking if I change, all my devices get 4 times the speed of the Virgin connection. He certainly wasn't dazzling me with his bubble tech.

 [MOD EDIT: Inappropriate language has been removed from this post. Please review the Forum Guidelines]






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Re: If you cannot dazzle em with diamonds. baffle em with bubble tech

Thats Brilliant!

Imma gonna sign up. Couple of switches, a tower populated with NICS and install Linux and some load balancing software.

10 NIC's=10 devices so an 800MBps connection!!

Seems legit.jpg