So, I'm just off the phone to VM after going through the usual reboot and factory reset guidance that the automated system sent a link to, (then ended the call,) then showed nonspecific "connection issues" and suggested I contact through chat support or phone them again. The chat button was dead, so I phoned again to explain 3 times that the pods weren't identified by the router and VM Connect app was no use for resolving the issue. They eventually said there's a short term connection issue, they're going to monitor the network connection for 24 hours and it should resolve by then.
I'm not holding out much hope for a genuine resolution based on that call, especially since they suggested in future I could use the Connect app to resolve any problems. Y'know, considering it couldn't do anything useful for the past 2 days.